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 Understanding suicidal ideation

By: M.J

Keep in mind, this essay is not purely a research one nor a substitution for getting professional help, rather something I tried to research and put into words to the best of my ability, so of course there will be pitfalls

For this essay, I will reference the paper, the interpersonal theory of suicide.

Suicidal attempts are usually only made when the person in question’s mindset is made of two different psychological states, the strong belief that you are a burden to the people you love, and a thwarted sense on belonging. People under those mindsets are under the belief that loving them is a burden, and they don’t truly belong with the people they do love. Whereas love is more abstract than that. It ebbs and flows, and cannot be really written down as something objective. 

Habituation to pain such as self harm, even when it is with the intention to maim rather than a more lethal objective, it leaves the same emotional scar on the person’s flesh, and mind.

Our minds are highly adaptable, as proved by evolution. Animals including Homo sapiens are likely to shed what doesn’t serve them either through limbs or other body parts such as tails, or the ability for flight. 

We see this phenomenon is penguins, and even smaller animals such as Fleas and lice. Their ancestors could fly, but their environment no longer needed them to fly anymore, so nature shifted the ability out to something that suited their current environment better.

It is only natural that humans have the same ability, through the short span of their lives.

Through repeated experiences through either physical harm, or extended time in an environment that cause pain or discomfort, the person in question’s mind gets used to pain, and a person can lose their natural fear or injury, changing their amygdala’s reaction to fear, and loss.

Increased pain tolerance, rather emotionally or physically can cause both the capability and lack of physical self preservation to enact lethal self harm.

Have you ever stood in a crowded room while an ongoing party was raging against the four walls, while you were plastered to the corner, and thought “ Wow, I’m alone.”

It doesn’t make any logical sense, given you are currently surrounded in a sea of people. But you feel that there is an invisible curtain, separating them from you.

You feel that you are so different and isolated, that you couldn’t possibly bridge the gap or stick a hand though the curtain.

A lack of true human connection can make people feel that they are truly alone. 

Species like the black mamba are self sufficient at birth, once hatched from their egg.

However humans are pack creatures, and need that sort of social system to help their brains and bodies thrive.

According to the impersonal theory of suicide, there is a ven diagram. And only when those two things connect, is there a strong capability to act out on it.

Of course, there are many different reasons one can want to lethally self harm, however these two are the most common, as they fulfill the human desire to please, and to want to be desired, and feel like a part of something greater than ourselves.

When those two desires are met, the want or sometimes the greater feeling of need, is often times faded to static.

While we can feel like we know what other people are thinking, or even guess, we can never truly know or more importantly understand what other people think.

While the subject in question may feel burdensome, only their loved ones can truly answer the question, do I feel burdened?

Another human desire is to make an impact, to know for sure that others would miss us or suffer our loss.

Sometimes those who go through suicidal ideation may be under the impression that and one would miss them, but that is only them projecting their feeling onto others. And feeling their emotions for them, which isn’t possible since no two humans are the same, whether it is upbringing or solution to a problem.

Therefore you can’t decide for others whether you are a burden to them or whether they would miss you.

Trying to do that is not selfless, but rather trying to play a role of god, a role that no human has successfully played.

The only thing you can do is accept your humanity, and that means you are not omnipotent. You do not know what others are thinking and feeling.

When in doubt, start an open conversation.

“I’m really struggling lately. I was wondering if you could help me understand what you are feeling.”

No loved one wants you to pass away without you knowing how much they love you.

When an organism leans on a pack, the pack is helpful to their survival and when it comes to social animals, emotional well being.

However, if the pack proves itself to be detrimental to the survival of that organism, the best thing to do is to leave the pack.

There are more than one billion people on the planet we call earth, which means statistically there has to be a few people who can be your pack, people who understand you, and help nurture your sense of belonging. In other words your chosen or given family

8 billion people on this earth, you are not alone.